Goodbye

Can't quit those tears
and I cover my mouth
as I try to hold in
my screams

Feel that pain
rip through my chest
as you watch me
in silence

I want to tell you
tell you that everything
will be okay, but
you know that I'm lying

I love you, I whisper
and I run my hands
across your head
over and over.

Don't leave me
but escape this pain
Wait don't leave me!
But escape your pain...

I'm choking up, and
I can't breathe as
you sigh into sleep
forever into sleep

I want to scream again
I want to hold myself
and rock away the sadness
tuck away the heartbreak.

It hurts so much, and
I can't leave your side.
But I must... I must let you go
I must let you be free

My heart clenches and
I gasp for air, I'm
claustrophobic in this large
space around me.

Goodbye, my lovely
Goodbye, sweetheart
Forever you will rest
In peace in my heart.

~~~~
had to put down my dog yesterday. Freaking sucks. She had some cancer that couldn't be helped by any of the normal treatments. When the vet told me, I had to cover my mouth while I screamed. And my dog just looked at me as if she knew it the entire time. She even wagged her tail at the end, right as she was slipping away.

I hurt so bad right now.